Pregnant Part One

I had been off birth control a few months after our daughter turned one in 2010 the same time we started our Army adventure. Nothing happened. One false positive and years of trying I thought we were just going to be a family of four forever.

I am EXTREMELY grateful for my two children, and people could not grasp why it upset me so much that we still haven't conceived. They told me I had two children, a boy and a girl, what more could I need/want? I felt broken emotionally and physically. We all wanted our family to grow.

My husband came home from his first deployment at the end of February earlier this year. It was one of the best moments of my life that I will never forget. Our two children, including me, had not seen him in nine months. It had renewed hope that maybe we could finally get pregnant with the third child we had always dreamed about.

March came and it was no surprise. I had pretty much come to grasp reality, besides he had only been home a couple of weeks. I remember telling my husband when the red came that he should knock me up already so I didn't have to have a period! I was so sick for pretty much the month that followed. I had taken medicine and laid in bed, but finally I thought I had pneumonia again so to the Doctor I went for the hundredth time!

I was supposed to start that day or the next so when they wanted to give me a urine test before they gave me an x-ray (husband home and no protection) I humored them. I had done this a million times before. I sat there for what seemed like forever! And from across the hall my Doctor was like :" Ashley?! Guess what?!"
I gave the expected response. "You are in fact PREGNANT!"

I burst into tears. I cried for maybe the next fifteen minutes. The Doctor and Nurse were both confused at first making sure that I was ok and if i was upset from the news or just extremely happy. I was so happy and shocked it was indescribable. A breathing treatment later and some safe prescriptions, I walked into the waiting area and told my husband. The happiest people in the world were in Fort Wainwright, Alaska.

To be continued...

Time flies

It's hard to believe it has been over a year since the last time I have even stepped foot in the blogosphere. Time certainly has a way of flying by. I have been through a deployment and now we are expecting our third child in only twelve weeks! My apologies for abandoning you dear friends. My life has been but a roller coaster of epic design. I look forward to starting over and hope to never part again! Until next time!

2011-07-14

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IF

If you could see inside of me
The beautiful mess I happen to be
If you could feel the pain wrapped up tight
Bottled up it serves me right


If you could hear the rhythm that my heart sings to
Makes the smile that could break a heart in two
If you could smell the fear that my eyes hide
In the dark holds them open wide


If you could taste my disaster
Passion with a hint of laughter
If I was lonely
If only

<3 ASH

Might As Well Raise Hell Before It Freezes Over

The title has nothing to do with my post, but I'm in Alaska and it sounded clever. It cracked me up at least. Anyway, This week has started out very stressful, but today it all seems to be coming together. My vehicle should be here tomorrow, I hope, it was last tracked in Anchorage which is only a few hours away. Even though We ran out of money a few days ago (because I had paid for my own tickets last pay check) We got a Military Star card today and we get paid tomorrow...finally! I set up our cable, internet, and phone today as well. I'm just really excited about the next couple of days!

Tomorrow I will do major shopping. Groceries, and things for the house to get organized and for decorating. Thursday our furniture arrives and our DVR and internet will be installed. This will be the first time we have had cable where we lived lol. Even though it's supposed to be a four day weekend Jon will probably only get one so whenever that is we are going to try this really amazing Italian restaurant... Even if we do have to take the kids lol. Getting the house together and feeling like a home while Jon is working really hard.

The big dilemma is now whether or not to get a a forty plus inch flat screen television for the living room (even though we have a 22 inch flat screen) or get a living room set. They are both the same price. I know we've already picked out the sofa set but I'm not sure anymore lol. Even though I picked up the wrong shower curtain rods and almost pulled my hair out with my son being oddly bad, I shouldn't be as stressed as I feel. Hoping we get pregnant soon. I know I've been random, but it's been a little hectic. Au Revoir.

If You Want Something Done Right You Have To Do It Yourself

On August 14, 2010 I got on a flight with my two small children by myself from Atlanta, Georgia to Fairbanks, Alaska. Two very long layovers in Denver and Seattle I arrived at my final destination. If it had not been for my own free will and one amazing friend that already lived at Fort Wainwright, AK I would still be at home in Georgia and my husband would have been gone. I paid out of pocket for our tickets worried that I would not get to see my husband before he left. The Day before I had left Fort Eustis, VA had said that they had signed off on our command sponsorship so I thought all was at an end. I was wrong.

Later that week I had called Fort wainwright's office to see if they had received my papers and they told me no. I called back to Fort Eustis and they told me that they were not going to send the papers that since I was there I could give it to them myself. It doesn't work that way. My husband had to apply for it all over again through his unit. If I had waited on Fort Eustis to do their job and get the orders amended we probably would have been in GA for months. If I had not come up His unit would not have given him the choice to stay behind and be with us. Everything happens for a reason. Our Command Sponsorship should be done by the end of next month, but the only reason I need it now is to ship my House Hold Goods. I move into my house TOMORROW! Which ironically is two houses down from where I'm staying with our friends. It's the nicest ones I've seen for three bedrooms! Our car just left Seattle so it should be up here next week or two.

I'm so incredibly blessed! It is so beautiful here and I get to live with my soldier again!No matter how hard things seem to be at the time, it's always worth it in the end. Even if you have to do it yourself.

The first cut is the deepest

My soldier is currently on a plane to Fort Wainwright, Alaska. Saying goodbye is really hard no matter how many times you have to do it. I will never get used to the feeling of my heart breaking when we have to be apart. Any day, his orders will be amended and they will give me and the kids our plane tickets... It's just a matter of time. I'm torn about not being able to go with him. On the one hand I don't get to experience the adventure and the first days at our new home together. On the other I get a little more time with my family and friends.

In the meantime, while I'm stuck in Georgia because Fort Eustis' lack of efficiency and ethic and he is in Alaska, I plan to be positive and very productive. Keep your fingers crossed that all of this gets finished at least this week or the next. It's all up to them, unfortunately, I've done all I could do. Be persistent and corteous if you find yourself in my position. I miss him already. I can't wait to be up there with him to start this exciting adventure together. Army wife strong.